Yesterday, with Mrs McNasty out at a dungeon warming I enjoyed a most peaceful evening at home in the McNasty flat, listening to Wagner. I countered the natural tendency of Herr Wagner's compositions to induce psychotic illness by flicking through the November edition of Hairpiece and Queens; which contained its customary article about my friend and client Sir Elton.
The TV was flickering in the background and you can imagine my appalled astonishment when I recognised out the of the corner of my eye that dreadful toady, backstabber, all round good egg and weirdo the MP Simon Simon on the TV news. Skilled and nifty use of the TV remote and careful aiming of my left boot at the on/off switch of the gramaphone meant that i was able to catch the tail end of the report, in which i learned that said Simon Simon had posted an apparently amusing and tasteless video clip of himself pretending to be the Lord Chief Biscuit of the conservative party Mr Deidre Cameroon.
This was available for viewing at the www.youtube.com web site, sadly it is no longer in the public domain as it seems that Mr Simon has removed the offending video clap due to a number of complaints; fortunately the BBC saw fit to broadcast most of the offensive material at least twice. The video clap featured Mr Simon Simon dressed in a baseball cap pretending to have what i believe is known as 'street cred' and 'rapping' as it is known in hep and happening musical circles.
I believe that Mr Simon Simon's objective was to bring a plague upon the house of Cameroon which, it has to be said, has been having too good a time of it lately what with the Prime Minister Mr Tory Bore's continuing rise in the unpopularity polls and Mr Straw's much publicised offensive in the interest of community unity and racial harmony.
The most offensive part of said sordid 8mm home cine offering was in my opinion where Simon invited interested parties to sleep with his wife!. Who in their right mind would want sloppy seconds from any female with such appalling taste as to marry this obnoxious pile of puss? Give me Mrs Cameroon any day of the week; you will struggle to find such a fine and fragrant piece of totty this side of Mrs Thatcher i can tell you!
It's a good job that the fop haired, stripe suited dollop of dung that is Simon Simon represents the parish of Erdington and not Walsall East for if he was my MP i would invite him to sleep with Mrs McNasty, which i am sure would render such complete psychological damage that Mr Simon might even see sense and drop his support for Mr Gridiron Brown in favour of a proper leadership candidate; someone as appealling and appalling as Harriet Hardman perhaps?
Anyway enough ramblings, i have to put the finishing touches to a new hairpiece; a McNasty Long, Foppish, Floppy and Greasy with option baseball cap fastenings which by sheer coincidence i have to deliver in Erdington tomorrow morning.
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